In absolute counterpoint to "ventapalooza", I have to say how strangely, surprisingly, lovely my boy can be.
I've been sick, really sick, for three weeks now. My sanity has had it's doubtful moments for sure, but all in all, it's been okay. And that is because of the people who have been around me. For example, my mom was here for Xmas and she dug right in to help with meals, playing with my son, and anything else that needed to be done. (More about that in another post soon, I hope). My husband has been usually well through most of this which has made things even easier and he is just the sweetest guy about doing things for me and picking up the slack in general. (Thank you so much baby!)
My son, above all, has absolutely bowled me over. All of the sudden I'm seeing this nurturing side of him I'd always suspected was in his DNA but had yet to see applied to anything in the adult world. (He's always been very kind and gentle with babies, and with dolls in play) In the last few weeks, on a daily basis, he asks me if I'm okay, and how am I doing. He strokes my face, pets my hair, checks my forehead for a fever, and tells me everything is okay because he is here.
If it didn't make me so darn happy I'd cry.
It's so easy to get tunnel vision in my world. When he is being challenging and I'm loosing my patience more often that I would ever want to, it feels as though it has always been this way and always will be. But that great pendulum comes swinging back and the cycles that breathe life into the world, and extinguish it, are ever present. It's a lesson in enduring and in basking in the warm glow of what is good. It's being awake and alive. It's being grateful for what is and rolling with the unexpected. It's many of the lessons life has been teaching me this year (2010), and I have been reaching to learn.
Thank you my son, for showing me, in living color, what I've longed to see. Thank you for reminding me of who I want to be and how I want to live. The gift of you goes on and on.