Sunday, December 5, 2010

ventapaloozza

Been thinking about parenting a lot today. You know when you get to that point where the things you've done before, that worked so well in the past, no longer seem to be getting the job done? That's where I am. And, although it may sound extreme (cause really I'm pretty extreme with myself), I begin to feel like the biggest parenting failure when I get to this place. Not just a failure but a fool, an idiot. I begin to image that all the virtues I'd seen in my child were fiction and that my own parenting inadequacies are to blame.

It's all pretty ridiculous, I know. Hmmm. Wonder where my kid get's his flair for drama?

I love this person so much that sometimes I ache from it. Other days I wonder how I managed to fail to raise a child who could be the least bit considerate of others, particularly me.

Then I think of all the other introverted parents out there raising extroverted children (like my husband and I) and I know that 1. I'm not alone, and 2. It's not my imagination that this set up is hard. It is really, truly, stinkin, hard sometimes.

Thanks for letting me vent.


3 comments:

The Garden Ms. S said...

I have so much empathy here...our three year old is a wild thing and we are readers, writers, walkers,...How did we produce the biggest personality in any room?? I never dreamed I would be the mom chasing her child and apologizing in his wake. I am challenged in who I am everyday. It is frickin hard. But the best part is his big personality comes with a big, big heart. :)

Jennifer Stotz Murphy said...

Hm, that all sounds so familiar. It's all totally normal, I have to tell you, though it certainly is frustrating. What is he, around four now? Totally typical behavior for boys that age. His lack of consideration for others is a developmental stage, I think, and it's worse with you because he knows it's safe--you'll love him no matter how unbearable he is.

The Giraffe Head Tree said...

I concur with all that's been said. My now-college-aged-student was, and still is, The Drama Queen. Our personalities couldn't be more different yet we love each other fiercely. This topic really deserves to be treated to lunch, with wine, so we can whine in person. Too much to talk about - I sooooooo empathize...

Merry Christmas, Rachel. I love reading your blog and enjoy your photography tremendously. You are a very talented person.