one's value

Recently I was faced with the challenging and emotional experience of being told that my work was not worth two dollars more than what that person had been paying for it. Either way, it is a bargain for them, and while they seemed happy with my work, they weren't willing to pay for the quality they were enjoying.


I felt used, under valued, disrespected, and demeaned. Then I began to question my own value, which is a terrible place to go, to take yourself. 

And then... I was bolstered by THIS.


Thank you Design Sponge & Regina Morrison. You reminded me to have faith in myself and to not sell myself short, for myself, and for the rest of the small creative / handmade business community.

on trying...

I made this photo years ago, 2008 I think. I was still working with a point and shoot, at 4 megapixels. It's an image that has always stayed with me, popping up in my mind when I needed to remember to keep going, on pure faith if necessary. Lately, it's been my full on montra.

I've been putting myself out there... or rather my work, which really is so much a part of me that it might as well be me (but I try not to get that attached).  I've been scouring Craigslist for local opportunities to show my work, at cafes and whatnot, and for freelance creative gigs. I've talked with a few people and gotten some positive feedback but no concrete plans as of yet. I've also been promoting my Etsy store much more. I've been taking Photo classes here and there to supplement my self taught, swiss cheese, base of knowledge. I've been advertising myself as a photographer (instead of a thingist..) while feeling fairly valid in doing so. I've been pushing myself and it's not easy.

In fact, there are days when my self confidence, my self worth, begin to falter, and I take my lack of success as a direct and irrefutable indicator of the value of what I do. Then, I shake that off and tell myself, "don't give in to doubt!!" I tuck my head metaphorically and charge down the field toward that end zone of achievement. I may never leave the field, I know, but it feels so much better to run than I ever thought it would. It feels good to keep going, to break those attempts at tackles which slow me down, and to keep pushing for a few more inches, a few more yards. I may fail 100% of the time, but by the time the play clock runs down, I will know I tried, played a good game, and didn't just stand on the sideline wondering what I might have done. 

It's all a big cliché, I realize. But I think that's only because its so common for so many of us sensitive, intuitive, creative people to shy away from ringing our own bells. We aren't gregarious like many successful people are. We do what we do, quietly, because it's imperative to our being that we do it. And then we doubt that others will see what our soul sought to depict, and we keep it to ourselves, to varying degrees. But, what I have learned is that if we don't give others the opportunity to see our work they can't even begin to respond to it. They can't love (or hate) it if they never know it. The fear is that they will shrug and walk away. 

What I'm learning now is that risking the brutality of that experience is worth not having to wonder what if...

Hi. I'm a thingist.

I struggle so often to get the words out... "I'm a photographer."

I do say them, however, because saying, "I am an artist," when folks ask me what I do other than raise my son, is fraught with so much baggage that it's ultimately meaningless or disparaging in some cases.

The word "Art" seems to be applied so liberally that it's like saying "thing".

I'm a thingist. Yeah.  Ok.

Cloud is her name. © 2011 Blue Algae Creative

But saying I'm a photographer seems slightly inaccurate too. I use a camera to capture images and those images are used to produce my art. Photoshop is also a primary tool.

Does using a camera automatically make me a photographer? If that is the case then wouldn't anyone who ever snapped a photo be a photographer? (This is the artist debate all over again) If anyone who ever snapped a photo is a photographer then calling the likes of Dorothea Lang, and Edward Weston photographers be meaningless, just like calling Andrew Wyth, Jasper Johns, and Georgia O'Keefe mere artists can see to dilute thier stature (particularly when we feel free to call our very competent mechanic or dentist an artist)?

 If I make art using a camera does that make me a photographer? Does it matter that my images are much more dependent on the work I do in photoshop than what I do with a camera? And regardless of whether what I produce is art (a question without an answer in my opinion), when is anyone a photographer? How good do you need to be? And if you need to be xyz good, how do you know if you are that good.

All of this comes from the fact that I admire so many photographers out there, and realize that I feel guilt when I proclaim to those I'm just meeting that I too am in their company. I'm not. What I do with the camera is something entirely different. I'd like to be like them someday, but that is a long road forward and I'll be lucky to have enough life left (let alone talent) to even get close. But that's a whole other debate I won't subject you to. 

As I have faced these questions, over the last several months, it has dawned on me that I want to be a better photographer, pure and simple. I want to be better at the bare bones of shooting with my camera the images I wish to capture, and not relying on photoshop to do all of the work. Hence, the online class and a studio light workshop I took locally a couple of weeks ago. 

I'm really not a technical person at all, and maybe that's why I've shied away from really getting to know my camera. But the time for assuming I can't learn this stuff is over. I've danced around the periphery of "photography" too long. It's time I embrace it with my whole heart and knock down the self imposed mystic. And so I am.

School House Craft Conference Part Three

This third installment of Conference Goodness was one of the most valuable for me in really setting up a mindset that I'd been lacking and craving for years. 

Small & Successful by Emira Mears 

Emira Mears is the coauthor of The Boss of You, along with her business partner Lauren Bacon. Both women also run the web design business  Raised Eyebrow.

Contrary to the traditional business philosophy that decrees "If you're not growing, you're dying" (which to me really means that if your business isn't growing like a cancer, rapidly and without limits, then you are not going to survive, let alone succeed.), Small and Successful was about having a personal vision for one's business that may not conform to traditional dogma but can be successful.

The most important takeaway from this talk for me was the question: What does success look like and feel like to me?

It might seem that having an open ended definition of success would make sense, that a vague hope of going as far as we can, earning as much money as we can, is goal enough. Emira shared a story that aptly illustrates why this doesn't always work. Sandra Wilson, the inventor of Robeez soft leather shoes for babies, was looking for a way to build a home based business so that she could spend more time with her 18 month old son. When she fashioned a pair of soft shoes from colorful leather for her son she realized that they were helping her son learn to walk. Thus, a business was born. But, it quickly became a mammoth entity that took her away from the creative aspects of making shoes and delivered her into management roles that looked nothing like her original goals. She made a lot of money but was very unhappy with the way she was spending her time. She eventually sold the company and while many in the business world see her story as a soaring success, she was never happy with the way things worked out.

The definition of success is different for everyone

*It evolves over time, changing with the circumstances of one's life.

*Write it all down

-Reevaluate our definition of success periodically and write it down so that it becomes clear what we want and when we are getting it. 

-Take note of milestones and celebrate them. It's important to realize achievement in the 

moment instead of alway looking forward to the next hurdle. 

-When we write it down we are much less likely to compare our inner feelings of where we are with the outward appearance of what we think others have. 

*Questions to ask ourselves (We are our own employers, negotiate)

-What is the minimum amount of money we need/want to earn, and what is the maximum?

-What kind of work/life balance do you want? How much time off do you want?

-How do I feel while I'm working?

-What tools do I want to work with?

Growing in our own way.

*As your definition of success evolves you may need to consider:

-Staff - Would adding staff to your business allow you to do more of the things that you want to be doing and fewer of the things you don't?

-Increased Production - Does increasing the volume of producing your product or service fit within your definition of success, or do you need to say "No"?

*Saying No - You don't have to be swept up in the tidal force of where your business is headed. You can shape that tide by saying "no" or by saying "yes, but...", "yes, if..."here is what I can do..."

-Saying any of the above can help your business by supporting the perception that you are in demand and valuable

-Defining a set of criteria for accepting new work/opportunities might be helpful in remaining clear about one's goals.

Being our own best boss.

*Get help when we need it, so that we are doing the things in the business we want to be doing.

*Prepare and learn

*Pay self well - budget for benefits, pay, and vacations or they will never happen.

Resources discussed: 

*Books:

-Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity by David Allen 

-Eat That Frog! 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastination and Get More Done in Less Time by Brian Tracy

*Web

-Remember the Milk - online to do list and task management

-The Boss of You blog - if any of the topics of this post interested you, this blog is a great place to read more!!!