there seems to be a theme ~

~ permeating my week, and especially my day. The theme is balance. More specifically, balance between moms as artists and artists as moms. I can't begin to fathom how anyone can strike a livable balance between the two except by accident and only on rare occations. I don't mean to sound pessimistic. I try very hard to be a positive person. And yet, when my 15 month old has a day like today, when all he wants in the whole world is my full and utterly constant attention for the entire day, I can't imagine how I will ever be able to do the muse justice again. I do take comfort tho in the fact that artists whom I admire and envy, are in the same boat right along with me. (comments I made in response to this post on Tree Fall)

So, it seems I am not the only one to be struggling with this. A close mommy friend of mine wrote an email just yesterday echoing the same thoughts, feelings and frustrations. She is a writer, and like me is trying to launch an unplanned career, doing what she loves (writing), 15 months after the birth of her first child. She, unfortunately, has the added stress of really wanting to contribute to her family's income while still being a full time stay-at-home-mom. Finances not being particularly harrowing at the moment for me, I do feel the strain of being pulled apart in seemingly opposite directions. I have two full time jobs and many part time ones. All of them I love, even doing the dishes, because they contribute to this great life I have and the great family of which I am lucky to be a part. But, no one can do it all. So where do I cut corners? Usually, for me, it's my health and/or my sleep. Of course this has the cumulative effect of making me less effective in the rest of my jobs, and therefore always leads to an emergency bail out by one or more of the supportive people in my life.

My point is that there aren't any clear solutions (short of a cultural revolution which allows for village like communities where child rearing is a collective joy and responsibility) but, I do believe, if there is a way we women will be the ones to find it, day after day, because our work, our art, our families, our loved ones, ourselves and our kids are everything.