Friday, May 27, 2011

drawn

Drawn by an unknown or unknowable force I feel the need for a purely basic kind of existence that becomes far more body involved and brain restorative than anything I know now. I am drawn to, at least the idea of, work, labor, repetitive motion and the prolonged, intentional meeting of basic needs. I want the work of life to be about feeding and being fed, walking and wandering, making heat to warm and cook and bathe, tilling the soil to grow what we need, tending my babe while working to keep us all sound. I want to be bone tired at nightfall and wake with the rising sun. I want to be so close to survival that smells of loamy soil.

My spirit/soul/basic nature want these things. But knowing myself, I just wonder if it would all grow old quickly and become burden before ever becoming revery.

 


I'm not impulsive. I sit with a thing a long time before I take action, which means I'm slow to move but deliberate. After feeling this pull toward a more basic life for several months, I'm making plans to put that desire/need up against actual experience. We are plotting out a long weekend at a remote cabin which has electricity (for my husband's sleep apnea machine) but no stove or oven (only a fire pit outside). We can be as self sufficient or as lazy as we like and I'm hoping it will give me a taste, let me know if I want more, or less of this or that.

 

 


1 comment:

Ryan said...

I relate. . . this urge is why I am a farmer. I encourage you to keep going slow... start with a small plot and grow as much as you can but not to put yourself in a situation where you are surviving (i.e. trying to live in that cabin all year :)