Blue Algae Creative

I need a break from my brain

a vacation from my mind

a reprieve from an unwelcome inheritance

an alternate route from the neural pathways I never chose but have been thrust upon me.

I'd like to anticipate without dread

I'd like to plan and look forward without fear

I'd like to feel good things, unencumbered by temperance.

Just for a day

I'd like to sing and work,

laying down all accessories

all shame and doubt

all hesitation

all censorship

I'd like to know me

in raw form.

I wonder who I'd be.

I'd like to feel completely;

air

water

vastness

hardness of stone

prick of grass

cold sluicing streams 

warm sunning

rivers washing detritus away.

I'd like to be of my body

self possessed

naked

accepting

clean.

I'd like to be pure

to be raw

to be rid of history,

naked and new

filled with love

and peace,

agression

and jealousy,

if the situation called for it

- not because my mother's

mother's mother's mother's mother

would have. 

I want to be a wolf woman,

a mama bear eating berries,

predator, prey, ruled by need

by survival, by ingenuity. 

I just want to breathe

unhampered by resignation,

unconscious of concrete,

unthinking,

unthinking...

unthinking...

unthinking...