Spending the time…

My mind has been on the subject of time, or rather experiences had with the time we are given.

With my husband having been out of work for the past 9 months, we’ve nearly lost all sense of a scheduled life. It’s a wonderful thing in many ways, although it does seem that time can drag on sometimes.

At first, it was a celebration. We can go anywhere today, all three of us!! Where will our whim take us tomorrow? Then it became about all of us getting the alone time we need, and how to manage that. And now that the novelty has worn off, its been a challenge to think of things to do that will both stimulate the boy and not bore the pants off his folks. Oh, what a challenge it is. On top of that is the consideration of money, how not to spend too much of it until we know when and from where reinforcements will be coming in.   

As I said, I’m burning brain cells on the topic of how to spend time, but not only in this very current and terrestrial way. I’ve been trying to be more reflective of the time spent, more conscious of what my son is learning from different experiences, what I am finding out about the world, how this time, this moment, is shaping us all.

I don’t really have anything mind-blowing to say about it all. I know that every moment of our lives is barrowed time, that how we use it is almost entirely up to us. I’m just trying to hold in all in my mind, as long and as often as I can.

This time with my husband home, in our lives full time, is something I’m not likely to have again for a very long time. This is the time when the city we live in is new, when my son and his dad know each other intimately, when the world is still new to my son and everyday is an adventure. I’m trying so hard not to miss it, with my frustration over full time parenting or always having to use the GPS to go anywhere. I’m trying hard not to miss the smiles and hugs and newness of this land that is so exciting. I’m trying. It’s hard.         

But, it’s the challenge that faces us all, isn’t it? To be conscious of our lives, to be awake and aware of the moments as they pass, to soak up the sun, to feel the textures of life, to revel in even the pain, is all the point, isn’t it? And, if it were easy, it’d not likely be worth it.