Wednesday, August 17, 2005
A letter to my president re: 9/11
You raped me.
I was battered. I was horrified. I was scared and lost and afraid. The bad guys had done bad things. I was looking around. I was looking up. I was waiting for help, for some way to make some sense of all this terror and grief. I was looking for my leader, my country's father.
I wanted you to make order out of chaos. I wanted you to be strong and gentle. I wanted you to be comforting. I wanted you to be defiant, resolute & restrained. I wanted you to be inspiring. I wanted a leader, a father, who would stand up before me, protecting me, all the while wiping away my tears. I wanted you to show me hope. I wanted to see love in your eyes.
Instead... you raped me.
You betrayed me. You ignored me. You bruised me. You kicked and beat me with fists. You knocked me down and took my power. You used my voice and spoke for me, without my permission.
And then, you did it again
Will you ever know what you have done? Will you ever know what a horrid monster you created? Will you ever see beyond what you want to believe? Years after you've died, and gone away from me, will it end? Will I heal? Will what you've created melt away, burn off, dissipate? Will you become small, microscopic, to others, the way you look to me?
Will you ever stop raping me?