Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Mommying ~ a theme

Yesterday, Mr. O and I visited our local botanical gardens. Unbeknownst to me, they have a wonderful "seeds of wonder " children's garden, complete with play house, tortoise (and dino) statues, digging for dino bones sand pit, trees, fresh air, dirt (the good old fashioned clean kind), other wondrous signs that love and life is all around.


It was also day four of who know how many cranky, tantrummy, stomping, kicking, hitting, screaming, tearful, two-year-old-ish days in my future. There were moments of slight bliss, but other than discovering a great new place to hang out, it was a tough day.

But I'm grateful, if not eloquent, tonight that it was our day and that it happened the way it did. I'm learning a lot in the crash course called motherhood lately. I'm learning lots of teeny tiny things about what makes toddlers toddle and boys tick. I'm learning about patience and priorities and tolerance and forgiveness. Most shocking of all, however, is the great shifts I'm beginning to see in myself that are finally, concretely rooting me to my identity as a mother.

For so much of my life I rebelled against the thought of myself as a stay-at-home mom, a home maker, a matriarch even. I think my mother's generation, in their fight for equitable treatment, forgot to communicate to the younger generations the value they had as women, as the backbones of their families, instead thinking they had to be more like men to be seen as equal to them. The devaluation of women's unique talents and gifts has done a 360 and now it is often the fortunate, privileged women who get to stay home with their kids and run their homes with all the dedication and efficiency that makes the business world hum. I see that everywhere I look.

{We've even seen domestic care elevated to an art form (via Martha Stewart, and all the others, known and unknown, like her) which I find to be revolutionary.} 

I'm beginning to know, not just in the gray squishy matter residing in my cranium but in my blood, bone and cells, that I am a mom as much as I am anything else. The fact that I take a great deal of pride and comfort in that discovery is revolutionary for me.

I am a mom.

Crazy how real that is now, after two years in the role.

I am a mom.

Hunh! Who would have thought.


Anonymous said...

you put it in such beautiful words!! and i totally agree with you!! i am proud to be a mom! ^_^


Larissa said...

Sounds like some profound realizations as you continue to embrace and recognize all parts of yourself.