really? you've never wanted to be famous?

Nope, I never have. I like my privacy. I like being alone sometimes. I don't particularly like to be looked at much. I do like people, but I'm not very good at making small talk with people I don't know. And, I would be very angry at, even violent toward, anyone who intentionally caused a member of my family distress for no good reason (aka paparazzi). So, I've never ever wanted to be famous.

Except that now I read a lot of blogs (see list to right) by some very very talented people, mostly women, who are artists working in textiles, illustration, photography, printmaking, and/or multimedia collage/assemblage. Some of these talented people have a large readership, sell their work on sites like etsy, are featured on other blogs, and have begun to show up in creative type magazines or are publishing their own books. When I see them out of context of my computer screen, out there in real publications, I am shocked to see someone I "know" is known to others. I'm coming to the gradual realization that they are famous, in a way. I am green with envy.

The hardest part of being an artist for me has been summing up the courage to sell myself, to get my work shown. I know this is the hardest part because I've not really done it, even tho I've meant to, promised to, hoped to, and swore to. I want my work to be seen, don't get me wrong. I would love to be a fly on the wall and see what people really have to say about what I create, for better or for worse. I'd love to see something I made spark a thought or emotion in someone. I'd love to be part of that experience.

In the real world it feels next to impossible to sell myself. In this electronic world it's been easier to imagine it. Starting to talk about my work on this blog, like I have discovered so many other women doing, was a first step. The second was to put my work up on Flickr. Both of these were pretty safe bets, and they have been neutral to positive experiences. Now, I'm at the precipice of putting my work up on etsy for sale. I can't seem to move forward. As much as I try to insulate myself from possible failure (aka not selling anything) I can't help but know that it will hurt. It wouldn't be catastrophic, but it would hurt. And, at this point I think that not selling anything is a strong possibility because I don't think very many people, aside from dear friends and family, know about me, my blog, and therefore would know about my etsy store.

I am envious of fame. I never thought I would be. I wish I knew how those creative blogging celebrities I love so much got to where they are. Hmmmm... maybe I should ask them.